Thursday, April 4, 2013

No universe can contain this burst of energy...

(caution: I'm drinking a glass of wine, and swearing a lot.)

MRD = Negative.

Here's what it means:

It means my 29 lb. 3-year-old kid beat cancer's bitch ass all the way back into remission. In 28 days.

It means "today's technology" is unable to detect less than 0.01% cancer cells. Therefore, "negative" means she has less than 0.01% cancer cells. So, she could have zero cancer cells. Or she could have 0.00999999% (someone check my math). Measuring at 0.01% or higher would alter her prognosis in a bad way. I'd spent the previous 30 days inadequately preparing for that potential outcome.

It means she doesn't get tossed into the High Risk category, where shit gets scarier than I've allowed myself to consider (*except at 3am. And while driving). We're fucking ecstatic to remain in the "90% probability of being cured**" category. (**cured in Cancer World means 5 years of testing negative. It also means getting tested annually "just in case." Also, Cancer World has shitty rides and is overpriced.)

It means we have 2.25 years of chemotherapy and steroids ahead. And that sucks. But we'll take it.

It also means that chemo regimen will be less intense than the High Risk and Very High Risk kids get, so Aria is less likely to incur life-changing organ damage and other "what the fuck is happening now" style side effects.

It means that maybe, just maybe, she'll get to go back to my favorite Montessori school in 7 months. (Probably longer because this flyover state has cold and flu season nearly half the the year. But still, she COULD if she wanted to. Options make me comfy.).

It means she'll still lose her hair. And that sucks. But we'll buy a few zillion cute hats and bows.

It means I cried for the first time in 28 days.

It means I'm planning a remission party cancer org. fundraiser, because when things feel big, I am compelled to plan themed gatherings.

It means I am finishing this bottle of wine, and then asking someone to make me a margarita.





History: One Month Pre-Steroids









Today: One Month Full of Steroids





   



Future: One Month After Steroids

2 comments:

Unknown said...

I'll make you a margarita. Right now. Happy times, McCarthy family!

Zoƫ Slocum said...

Wonderful news! Been thinking about you (and Aria) a lot and will continue to do so. I'm also jealous that you get to drink a bottle of wine right now...enjoy! Love from SF.